My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
-Henny Youngman
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in
the carburetor."
I asked her, "Where's the car?"
She replied," In the lake."
-Henny Youngman
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman
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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool
when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt
her.
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My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself
two girlfriends.
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A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it
since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
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Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a Man doesn't
know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; then it was too late.
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A man placed an advertisement in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."
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